4 Ways to Still Get Married in 2020
Every person around the world is being affected by COVID-19 in one way or another right now. But if you’re reading this, chances are you were recently engaged, or supposed to get married in 2020 and trying to figure things out, or were in the middle of planning your wedding in 2021 and now even that’s a potential question mark.
To all of the couples who find themselves in this precarious situation, my heart goes out to you. It’s understandable to be feeling confused or sad about the direction your wedding or elopement planning may have taken but I also want you to know there is still hope. It’s also ok to have questions like:
What happens if I have to reschedule my wedding due to COVID? Do I have other options?
Should I continue planning my wedding during COVID?
Should I plan a wedding for 2021 with COVID still around?
Should we cancel our wedding and elope or do something with a smaller guest count?
Should we plan an elopement or intimate wedding from the start?
I’m here to let you know there are still options if you’re hoping to get married in the near future. That’s why I’m sharing four ways to think about planning your wedding or elopement during COVID-19. My hope is these options provide you with a next step and offer some direction and guidance. Despite the uncertainty, I’d love to guide you through this unprecedented time and help bring fun, joy, and peace of mind back into your wedding or elopement planning process.
Here are a few ways to still get married during COVID-19:
Elopement
The good news is, if you plan or are planning an elopement, you will be able to celebrate it as long as it consists of less than 10 people (not forgetting your vendors!), hooray! Elopements are usually planned and attended only by the couple (and a witness) and sometimes with a few close family or friends, so there is no reason why you cannot move forward with an elopement at this time. Here are some things to keep in mind when planning an elopement:
Keep travel bans and quarantine rules in mind
This is a biggie. For example, right now if you live in Massachusetts even though we have transitioned from a “stay at home” order to a “safer a home” order if you travel to our neighboring states like Vermont or New Hampshire, travelers are being advised to self-quarantine for 14 days. Or if you already live in Massachusetts and are eloping close to home but have guests coming from out of state, Massachusetts is also urging visitors to self-quarantine for 14 days. On the flip side, if you are a Massachusetts resident and travel out of state, upon returning home, Massachusetts residents are also subject to self-quarantine.
This is definitely something to keep in mind when thinking about both a location for your elopement as well as your guest list (if any) and where they may be traveling from. Keep in mind travel to neighboring states is still largely being discouraged right now and it is important to keep an eye on these regulations, as things can change quickly. Also, don’t forget to check city-specific rules and regulations that are sometimes different from state guidelines. The City of Boston is a good example of this which still has a public health emergency in place and mandatory curfew when the rest of the state of Massachusetts does not.
Look out for National Forest and public land closures
If your ideal elopement is full of adventure—conifers, mountains, perhaps a lakeside ceremony than you may be thinking about areas like the White or Green Mountains in New Hampshire and Vermont. Maybe you’re still digging an outdoorsy vibe but looking to keep it low and local in a closer-to-home town forest or state park. Before falling too in love with a particular outdoor location that speaks to your wild soul, it is important to make sure to check for National Park and public land closures. For example, The Trustees of Reservations have had several properties closed due to COVID-19 and up until early May, most major trails in the White Mountain National Forest were closed to public use. Even now, some trailheads in the mountains are still closed simply because it’s mud season (it’s why I personally don’t hike this time of year and I hike all year round, including winter!). It’s always important to check state and local recreational websites for closures or other disruptions that may prevent you from planning your dream elopement.
Have an Airbnb elopement
An Airbnb or rental home just might be your best option for an elopement that still feels like a getaway without having to travel far or out of state at all. Here in MA, it only takes less than 30 minutes to leave the city of Boston and feel closer to nature and the outdoors. Many Airbnbs are still open for booking, especially if you book within the state you reside in. If you’re booking out of state, make sure to check the rules or dates for when bookings will resume. Many Airbnbs are taking extra sanitization steps and can provide a break in your routine, space for a few of your loved ones, a scenic backdrop, and unique architecture-- it’s an all-in-one experience!
Make it meaningful
Maybe the thought of an elopement sounds isolating or lonely but I believe an elopement can absolutely be meaningful, beautiful, and connective. An elopement doesn’t necessarily mean running away and there are tons of ways to make it meaningful—from finding the perfect location to creating a beautiful setting to writing your vows, to a picnic for two to celebrate complete with champagne (or craft beer, whatever you fancy). Another idea is to elope and then plan a small reception later in the year with family and friends. Since there is a great unknown of when we can gather safely for a large celebration, consider eloping on a special day and then waiting to plan a wedding reception until you’re more confident about safe gatherings.
Minimony
You might be asking yourself, what’s a “minimony”? A minimony is a mini ceremony (either virtual or in person), involves an officiant, and select vendors that your larger wedding would include. It is typically held with your loved ones with no more than 10 people, which falls in line with CDC guidelines (which fluctuates by state). This means in most situations if you have planned or are planning a mini ceremony followed by a small gathering up to 10 people, you will be able to. Here are some tips for planning a minimony:
Keep your original date
If you’re thinking about postponing your wedding to next year and still doing something intimate this year, hold your minimony on your original wedding date. I like this idea because it still gives you something to look forward to this year that you were originally super stoked about. Why wait when you can have double the fun?
Celebrate outside
Outdoor minimonies are a good call if you have extra cautious guests or folks who are more vulnerable. Think your favorite park, town forest, or backyard. The health of you and your loved ones should be the number one priority throughout the planning process.
Make it personal
You can still add personal touches—handwrite your own vows, have a special bouquet designed, have your first dance as a couple to a friend or family member playing guitar, and some champagne on ice at the end of the ceremony. With fewer people and logistics to worry about, there’s more space to think about how to infuse the little details that are uniquely you.
Micro Wedding
Surprised to still see a wedding here? Don’t be! If a semi-large celebration is what you envision will be the most meaningful, I fully support you! A micro wedding just might be your best bet. Micro weddings are defined as an abbreviated celebration of marriage that only has a handful of invested guests (50 or less), is shorter in duration, and is more simple in format and relaxed in atmosphere and less stress to organize than a traditional wedding. The only catch is making sure to follow current limitations on gatherings. Here are some tips for planning your micro wedding:
Limit your guest list
If you haven’t sent out invitations yet consider inviting groups of family and friends in sections. As we all wait to hear if/when groups larger than 10 or 15 can gather in certain areas, consider inviting an allowed amount of guests first, then sending a second group of invitations up to the next amount of allowed guests. While this will result in not as large of a gathering as you initially planned, it will allow for some of your favorite humans to join you in celebration!
Consider adding virtual elements to your wedding day
Many photography and entertainment companies are adding virtual weddings to their packages. Invite as many guests in-person as is comfortable and safe, but then send the rest of your guests a link to the livestream of the ceremony and reception!
It’s all about the details!
With a smaller guest list, you can get super creative with designing and styling your dream day. Instead of allocating budget to feeding 150+ guests, you can now think about how to use that budget towards more intricate florals, upgraded linens and place settings, or splurge on the little things like the hand calligraphy details you had originally passed up.
With all of these options, check with your venue to see how they can help accommodate you and your guests while abiding by safety guidelines. Keep in mind, this might still include distanced eating, plated meals instead of buffet, wearing masks, limited physical touch, and distanced dancing.
Don’t forget your vendors
I don’t think it goes without saying how important this is for all of these options. Vendors like your photographer, florist, officiant, event designer, or coordinator all count towards your gathering size. It is important to keep this in mind and be mindful of their safety too. Don’t be surprised—many vendors have updated their contracts with specific stipulations in place related to planning a gathering during COVD-19 that you will be expected to follow. Since we’re all in this together, let’s make sure we’re working together!
Sequel Wedding
If you’ve already postponed your 2020 wedding or are thinking about it, I love the idea of a minimony or elopement on your original wedding date + throwing a sequel wedding. Calling it a postponed wedding is WAY less fun. There is no better time than now to create your own rules.
Throwing a sequel wedding will let you bring your original wedding vision to life and also let’s you potentially keep deposits and vendors you’ve already booked. Plus by choosing a minimony or elopement first, you’ll share a memory with your immediate loved ones, while eventually savoring your sequel wedding later (save the best for last!).
There is no right or wrong way to plan a wedding anymore. The format of weddings used to be one and done, but the order of events has changed as weddings have evolved into fully personalized experiences.
A smaller wedding and fewer expectations allows you to be more flexible and creative. You’re free to change things up and break tradition.
No matter how you choose to get married and celebrate your love, remember that you are worth celebrating and that your love is just as special as if your wedding plans hadn’t changed.
I love partnering with couples who are intentional about their wedding and marriage, aren’t afraid to break tradition, and are looking to create a meaningful celebration or in this case, celebrations. Now is the time to lean into building the foundation for your marriage which doesn’t need to be the traditional large-format wedding. If a micro wedding or an elopement sounds like you, let’s chat :)
Danielle